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Thursday, February 07, 2008

Taylor Hicks vs. The Fanatics: A Visit Back to Salem

Taylor Hicks' most freaky of fans, members of The Caroline Lyders Fan Club, were having big fun last night. Nothing more entertaining for a troop of Taylor Hicks' Inquisitionistas than spending the evening...not listening to Taylor Hicks' music, not reading a Taylor Hicks' book, not volunteering at the local shelters: no, instead once again, like the way they spent Christmas day and every day, finding someone to bitch about. Yes, these are upstanding and fine folk.

Apparently this rowdy band of Taylor Hicks' loyalists live for the Witch Hunt. Last evening chill, the webmistress, sent me yet another 'Funny Valentine' (the answer is still a "thanks, but no thanks"). While composing my Love Note she decided to give a peek into her spam box. That spam box must be like that "box of chocolates" in Forrest Gump, ya never know what you might find... I left her a little chocolate covered cherry to relish but it did not make the Big Taste Test. Just an 'honorable mention' in comments. (I've got a new website starting called The Spin Shack *wink, wink*)

My darling creative and accomplished friend, "JM" did not make the grade either, must have been lost in cyber Hell that is chill's spam-orrhea. Instead Sixxfan and Mommyof3 were laid on the sacrificial pyre for the ladies to dance around and chant. From what I'm deducing from this lot of Fanatics, I'd entertain the notion that, if it possible, these Taylor Hicks' enthusiasts would prefer to use this device. During ancient times tongues were ripped completely out of one's mouth for maligning the Lord or saying anything considered blasphemy. Thing is, in today's world, they could also use it to rip fingers off - ending that pesky blogger from writing in their pesky blogs. Mfoyasucks, likely the first to beg to wield the device, "Let me Mommy! Let me!" she'd cry while on her knees.

Perhaps in another life, if there truly exists reincarnation, we would have found these dogged loyalists fighting for their right to bear the Chill Coat of Arms rallying forth, swords drawn, lances thrust. That lends too much of a chivalrous image though to what amounts to a pack animal mentality. Really I'm sure they would find much more enjoyment burning those they perceive trespass against Him (Lois Gibson, moi) at the stake.
Rush, "Witch Hunt"

To these Fanatics, Taylor Hicks must be adored with the fervor matched seen at evangelical tent revivals. Indeed, it's possible they actually speak in tongues while attending his concerts. Fascinating. I'll be watching for that, just have to look for the sparks of glitter flying from floor friction at the next Taylor Hicks' event. Just think, tomorrow they may be off their site long enough to roll in the floor of their living rooms, eyes back in their heads while Taylor Hicks sings to the couple reciting their vows on National television on the Regis & Kelly Show.

All I can say Taylor Hicks, it is a heavy cross to bear, man. Remember, there are those out there who love you but maintain the real feel. Doesn't mean we like or appreciate you less; we simply express ourselves 'differently'.

As an aside, initial reports on the tune Taylor Hicks is singing, "Places I've Been", might be incorrect. I'm now reading he's going to sing "The Right Place". No official word on his Myspace site or, the Regis & Kelly site.
"The Right Place" Interview with The View as well c/o Geanna5876

Lyrics to "Witch Hunt"
"The night is black
Without a moon.
The air is thick and still.
The vigilantes gather on
The lonely torchlit hill.

Features distorted in the flickering light,
The faces are twisted and grotesque.
Silent and stern in the sweltering night,
The mob moves like demons possesed.
Quiet in conscience, calm in their right,
Confident their ways are best.

The righteous rise
With burning eyes
Of hatred and ill-will.
Madmen fed on fear and lies
To beat and burn and kill.

They say there are strangers who threaten us,
are immigrants and infidels.
They say there is strangeness too dangerous
In our theaters and bookstore shelves.
Those who know what's best for us
Must rise and save us from ourselves.

Quick to judge,
Quick to anger,
Slow to understand
Ignorance and prejudice
And fear walk hand in hand..."

Special Note:
henry8, it's not a matter of reading Jeanni's tirades, most closely - you see, she did not have any indicators in the post that she was quoting anyone, she just had the message typed out *rolling my eyes*. There were no " " or anything...besides she's quite guilty of using the possessive format incorrectly, often.


  1. Single Bullet Theory11:38 AM


    Your comparison of the Fanatics to tent revival evangelicals is spot on. It rang true most poignantly when I read a post by Ms. Einstein (the apostrophe queen) on the CL Fansite board from 2/6/08 ("Goodbye I'll Miss You" thread). I hope you don't mind if I post the whole entry (please edit as you see fit):

    Jeanni // February 6, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    I have my thoughts about why a certain groups of people react to Taylor in the way they do.

    Men like Taylor are so confident, secure in who they are…gifted..talented…then you add…handsome….personable…mannerly. Southern, in both birth and attitude…thoughtful…loved by women and respect by his peers, a man’s man…and there will be jealously, envy and hate and groups like mfoya and those who are followers who cannot fathom it and don’t understand it…and won’t accept it either…because they can’t have him personally. Add American Idol Season Five, those fans of the contestants who lost, they take it too seriously and they add their silly issues, it’s childish, but it’s true. We all know that.

    Men like Taylor, are few and far between, but once in awhile they do exist and when they do, it’s a rarity…Some people just don’t want him to be ALL that. So, they try to tarnish it…they end up looking like complete fools…like Mfoya…no one in their right mind would want to be associated with such trash, Sunny, do you hear that? They not only behave foolishly, but are Internet stalkers, it’s criminal in my opinion."

    It's fascinating that she knows SO much about Taylor (or "men like Taylor"). Could it be that she's living in a fool's paradise that she accuses others of espousing? That entry absolutely took the cake for me...just further proof that the Kool Aid is spiked and they've all had WAY too much.

    If this is what the Soul Patrol has come to, I'm turning in my membership. I'll "worship" Taylor from afar and will probably be the better for it.

    Thanks for the bandwidth!

  2. SixxFan6:56 PM

    Wow, I was part of the witch hunt on their pathetic little site? I didn't even bother going back to check it out. Oh, well...I could care less.

  3. SBT, I posted that in its entirety because it is absolutely one of my favorites that she's written.

    Completely blew my mind when I read it. Gives you utmost insight into the mind of most of the folk at CL Fan Club.

    I've known people like that. Very strange.

  4. Anonymous9:56 PM

    Clearly this bitch has no idea who Taylor Hicks is. Whoever that guy she is described is is some kind of demented fantasy she created. Because that ain't Taylor....

  5. Yes Sixx, they were ripping our your virtual entrails and having a partay.

  6. Shit, I could tell watching the guy even in auditions, that wasn't humble pie that was disguised arrogance. haha.

    I had him pegged from day one. That though one reason I was drawn to him. He played that fucking game so damn well. It was beauty.

  7. Anonymous10:15 PM

    He's trying to play it. Only now...it's playing him.

  8. Sixx, make that "ripping o-u-t your ..." although, they later got to me. hahaha!

    One of my fave pals is leaving Big D to work in the steam capital of the USA, popularly known as Houston soon, so we stopped for a beverage this evening...OK maybe three... hahaha

  9. SixxFan10:23 PM

    You know, Sunny, I had to go and see for myself. I didn't realize that I was on the front page! Wow. Should I be "celebritySixxFan" now? LMAO!

  10. sixxfan, you be celebritySixxFan and I'll be celebritySunny because they certainly love us.

    Those crazy ass bitches put a few threats on me in comments. BWhahahahahah! Crazy Ladies Fanatics Club. Think since Hicks reads my blog he has much love for those freaks?

    He must certainly know who fucking Cee is too by now. hahahahaha

  11. Henry8, I kept some of your emails to me and in one you showed how very two-faced you are. Here's one in which you are talking about Jeanni and CBB. This one received just about 13 days ago, we were talking about a few websites - you see, I know Cee from Myspace:

    "Not crazy about the other board either, Jeannie and sister are loons. I need a little late night entertainment to take my mind off hubbys (sic) illness. Poor Guy. Thats him in the picture. I have to work tommorrow.(sic) Yeah, old as I am I have a job. LOl"

    I have more. ha.