American Idol Bottoms Out: Worst Top Three?

Man, looking that way from my seat tonight. Little David Archuleta was making me go into almost asthmatic fits just listening to him. Psychosomatically induced need for my inhaler moments as he gasped his way through the tunes.
"And So It Goes" David Archuleta

video c/o IdolFans2008

I feel for the lad, I do. Noticed his renegade Stage Dad on the loose in the audience. Making his presence known,I'm sure. No wonder the poor kid has such issues. I shall light a candle for you wee lad and toss some herbs and sage in for you while saying a good word or two.

Syesha came out looking like a cross between Haley Scarnato and Katherine McPhee. I think those extensions from McPhee have cast some sort of spell over Syesha's brain.
"Fever" Syesha Mercado

video c/o IdolFans 2008
One wowser of a slut fest on the stage tonight. At least my Darling Man was entertained, he was shouting, "Take it off! Take it off!", during her performance dancing with the chair. He then had to put on Joe Cocker's "You Can Leave Your Hat On" and we danced like fools around the living room. (We had this amazing time one night listening to this tune...after watching this movie - 9 1/2 Weeks.)

video c/o ronaldazanini

Then there was David Cook. What happened to him? Damn, Cook, I was digging you, really for quite a while, but you've turned into the smiling Joker from Batman or something. What is with the smile-singing? What authentic rocker does this? Who?

There were so many issues it boggled my mind and made me weary. Bad songs, horrible Joker-grinning presentations; your Momma standing with all cameras aimed at her, the initials, the armbands. I'm just saying, all David Cook needed was an old pick up truck and he'd have qualified for a walking, talking, singing, country music hit. Needless to say, D.M. was unimpressed.
"First Time Ever I Saw Your Face"

video c/o IdolFans2008

Look, Cook, if you're gonna go the hot rocker mode, man this guy in his wife beater is It. Since Cook is leaning toward cheese rocker, I'll put some Creed spin on tonight. Thing is Scott Stapp has a great voice. Importantly *Note* No smiling into the cameras...
"Take Me Higher" Creed

video c/o dimag3

Jason Castro, the Idol stage was much darker tonight without your blue-eyed smiling visages. Even Darling Man missed you. Watching the rest of this season is like some kind of masochistic torture. I must be strong.
"My Sacrifice" Creed

video c/o blorrall
Hell while I'm at it, one more Creed tune, just to wash those IDOL BLUES away:
"Arms Wide Open" Creed

video c/o renanbr22
By the way, Scott Stapp has a new CD coming out August 8, 2008. Check him out on myspazz.


Who will win this? I predict David Cook. Who goes tonight, I predict Syesha. This was written long ago, months back in a darkened office, backstage...reality. Yeah.