American Idol Top 9 Not So Fine

This week's theme was on the weak side of creative decisions. Darling Daughter was immediately put off that nobody famous was mentoring. She picked up on that when one of the vocal coaches was shown. She asked, "Who's that person and why did they not say anything about the person singing?".

The show opened with Announcer Man introducing all the judges and I left the room for a refill. When I returned Michael Sarver's big mug was on the stage screen. Reminded me of one of those funeral memorial photos placed near the deceased casket for some reason.

Anoop selected Usher's "Caught Up". He claimed he wanted to do some 'high-energy stuff' this week since he sang those slow ballads two weeks in a row. He had his choir buds apparently in attendance and from the sound of them, one and all had been out for adult beverages prior to show time. Their revelry and shouts of, "Anooooop! Anooooop!", prompted Kara to remark she thought perhaps he had selected Usher on a frat-boy dare. I'm glad they got their party on and made it to a show to see Anoooop! because I think he's not long for this show after his grimacing performance. While he was in tune and vocally sounded decent, the performance was dull and not good to watch. Simon called him an 'utter mess'. I concur, even with as much as I want to like Anooop!.

Megan Joy announced she was doing Bob Marley which gave me a flash back to Jason Castro and his 'thinking Bob Marley' appearance. Unfortunately Megan Joy wasn't as entertaining as Castro last night, although it looked like the stylists were thinking faux dreads with her hair. She picked "Turn Your Lights On" - the Lauryn Hill version. Her Sallie Josephine dance moves were almost non-existent and her vocals that remind me of listening to music from the 1940's through a Victrola, which I normally like in that strange way, were just not on last night. My favorite moment of the judging panel critiques, Kara talking back to the rowdy crowd with "Boo, Boo, Boo", as the hecklers (perhaps Anooop!'s friends) called her a "broken record". Simon concluded with saying what they had liked about Megan was disappearing. If the Worsters aren't united tonight Ms. Megan may be disappearing as well.

Hokey-Gokey had a lady violinist accompany him for his selection of Rascal Flats, "What Hurts the Most". What hurt me the most was Hokey's pathetic ploy to look all sincere and indirectly still use his deceased wife as a crutch for sympathy votes. (Lyrics, "It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go, But I’m doin’ It" blah, blah, blah.) He started out okay but in true Hokey way wound up by the end sounding like he needed to go gargle. Boy was out of breath and gaspy. The judges creamed themselves, obviously relieved to be done with Anooop! and Megan Joy's dismal performances. Hokey stood there looking like the smug fug that he is as the judges eviscerated the previous performers while praising him for moving everyone in the room. I felt moved to visit the bathroom. I really can't stand this guy or his fug goggles.

Allison Ireheta picks "Don't Speak" by No Doubt out of the Idol goodie bag of iTunes picks. I liked her spikey hair but the rest of the ensemble was distracting. Who is dressing her? She needs not let her outfit overpower what she can do vocally especially with those easily distracted numbnut judges. Randy a prime example, he couldn't focus on anything besides his fashionista observations. You know if Randy the Bo-Bo picks on you for what you're wearing it is really horrible. Interestingly Pauler was the sanest judge calling them out for their fashion observations. Alli was vocally stronger than Gwen Stefani on a good day and again, just sad the dress overpowered everyone but Pauler's senses.

Scott the blind "Billy Joel", of course selects a Billy Joel song, "Just the Way You Are". I thought he sounded out of tune and rather flat for some of the song but then maybe I was being easily distracted as the numbnuts were about Allison. What the hell was the stylist thinking sending the boy out with that ducktail hairdo? I imagine an entire can of Aquanet was plastered on that mess. Well, at least he did not have on pink pants this week. Darling Daughter rolled around on the floor and declared him boring. I have to agree. (I KNOW, he's blind...) Naturally Kara deoTardi praised him, Pauler was having a challenging time of it though with saying Scott made her forget challenges or he was challenged or something like that. Simon piped in the cliche', "best performance by a country mile". Yeehaw.

Matt Giraud decided that his Coldplay debacle must not have been that bad. He went with, "You Found Me" by The Fray. It was funny at least, placing himself out in the audience with girls all around while he humped that keyboard. Judges overall did not like him much - with exception of Cougar Kara deoTardi; naturally she doesn't want Matt to leave yet. Take all the fun out of her night undressing him with her eyes.

Lil Rounds and her dismal performance of "I Surrender" (by Celine Dion) might have been enough to send her packing, but cannily the show made sure that her cute little girls had front row seats. The poor kids were confronted by Ryan screaming in their faces about the bad judge critiques about their Mommy, then one of them had to go hug Randy. Hopefully the Idol counselors were standing by. Darling Daughter wanted to see the littlest one smack Randy but when, instead, she collapsed into an embarrassed hug, D.D. threw a paper wad at the television. (That's my girl.) Those Idol producers must be feeling the embarrassment along with Lil's traumatized child since she had been pimped to the nines and week after week is just not bringing the singing gold. She falters in her enunciation both in speech as in song and falls off tune on a regular basis, reflecting her lack of vocal training. Thank goodness for the children.

Adam gLambert takes the contestants to school, shows he's been paying attention to the bloggers and yes, to Idol history past. This guy wants to win. He picked out a past Taylor Hicks' favorite performance, "Play That Funky Music" by Wild Cherry. He also stuck with the Elvis look with slicked back hair, sans nail polish and makeup. Face it folks, Adam is the only one saving this season. If it wasn't for gLambert I'd have tuned out long ago. He brings the Idol audience to a standing O (again) and the judges praise him with Pauler comparing his 'genius' to Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler. Apparently none remember Taylor Hicks' performance that ended up with Hicks flat on his back on the Idol emblem. Sigh. deoTardi makes less sense than previously, saying Adam made her feel like she was in Studio 57... must be like Studio 54 plus three.

Check out Adam bring the Little Richard to Wild Cherry's "Play That Funky Music"

Awesome.

Kris Allen wearing some facial scruff to bring some masculinity and lessen the chimp-face but for me it had the opposite effect. He's cute and he performs the song in a sincere but forgettable manner, but of course the judges want the viewers to love him and give him some over the top praise. Pauler's drink just hit her and she babbles rather sweatily, still steamy after Adam popped the wild cherry about how she could imagine that song being Kris' first cut off his first album. I say, Taylor Hicks nor any of the other 99,000 artists who have covered this tune need worry about Kris out-doing them.

Bottom three for me tonight should be Megan Joy, Matt Giraud, Scott MacIntyre. Who it might be according to the viewers, Megan Joy, Matt Giraud and Anooop!

Going home Matt Giraud.